


Love, Duty and the Wounds Caused By Both

by Pun_Times



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, Noctiris
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 10:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30054360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pun_Times/pseuds/Pun_Times
Summary: Crown Prince Noctis is attempting to fulfill his duties as the new king of Lucis in the face of Niflheim's treachery. However, confronted with the grim reality of this task and the hidden truth locked within his own heart, he seeks solace from someone he shouldn't. Someone he has no right to ask for solace from. And all the same, he does...because duty and love are often opposites and fulfilling one can destroy the other.
Relationships: Iris Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	Love, Duty and the Wounds Caused By Both

**Author's Note:**

> Second fanfic. Completely different fandom. And, if you've read my other work, this one will be a departure from that. For one thing, there won't be explicit sex in this. Not to say there won't be sex, but it will (if it occurs at all) be a 'fade-to-black style affair. Perhaps a bit of fluff but no more than that. Considering my first work (and the partners in that first work) this might seem like a wrong turn. I just want to try writing without using sex as a hook and see if the reviews I get for this work are as glowing as the ones I got last time.
> 
> Also, unlike last time, I don't have a big group of chapters that I'll be releasing on a schedule. Each chapter will be released when it is finished so if you don't see a new one, it isn't done yet. If I wind up abandoning this fic (which I don't plan to, but I mention just to be upfront about it) I will update with a 'new' chapter that will contain my reasons for why I am no longer writing the story. If that 'chapter' does not appear, then I am still working on this fic.
> 
> Comments and critiques (positive or negative) are entirely welcome. Negative criticism is crucial for learning what your weaknesses are. So if something is wrong (or even if it bothers you without necessarily being 'incorrect') please make mention of it in the comments. I will do my best not to get defensive but I may reply to your comment explaining my thought process as to why I went with what I did. If I do, please do not think that I am dismissing your criticism or saying it is 'wrong.' I'm merely trying to explain why I thought whatever I wrote was a good idea, made sense, etc. Perhaps you will agree with my assessment, perhaps you will not. And if you don't ~~you can kindly go F**K YOURSELF~~...I will accept that the section still bothers you and work on improving any weaknesses or errors you have pointed out.

There was no wind. Thankfully there was no wind. The rain was already cold enough without the wind ripping what little warmth he had from him. And he at least had his windbreaker. She had to be freezing by now. The thought of it quickened his pace. He knew this wood like it was a second home but she was a stranger here. He had no idea where her curiosity or whim might take her and he needed to find her fast. Not that there was truly any danger in these woods. It was a city park next to the palace after all, but where bears or fiends might be absent, exposure was an all too present danger. 

He stopped. The rain splattered on his windbreaker in a steady drone. Had he heard something? It had been so faint as to quite possibly have been imagined. he strained his ears to listen over the constant cacophony of the rain pouring down around him.

"... ... ...Brother...where are...?" Came the reply, so far away as to be on another continent.

He resumed moving. He didn't have a clear idea of where the voice was coming from but he had a general direction. He started jogging.

The voice came again, clearer this time. "Brother...I need you, brother..." There were sobs and weeping coughs interspersed with the words. She was definitely in this direction. Off the path to his right but further up ahead still. 

He had a pretty good idea where she was but now he was racing against the clock. A five year-old out in a rainstorm without any protection from the elements was a newspaper obituary in the making. He broke into a full run to cover the last dozen or so metres. Then he pulled to a stop, sliding in the soft mud of the trail as he spied her.

She was kneeling on the ground, her dress and skin covered in mud, tears clearly streaming down her face despite the almost torrential downpour that was going on around them. He could tell from the marks on the ground that she'd accidentally stepped off the path and tumbled down a small incline which explained why she was so filthy. Making his way down the same incline, carefully so as not to tumble as she had, he approached her.

Her sobs had ceased as she stared up at him. Fear and awe striking her features in equal measure. It looked like she wanted to run from him, like she was afraid of what he'd do to her. And yet, the other feeling he got was that she wanted to run up and hug him. Neither side was winning out and thus she knelt, rooted to the spot, staring up at him.

He came to stand in front of her for a moment before kneeling so their eyes were level. "Let's get you back to the castle." He said with a warm smile.

She started to shiver, whether from cold or from fear he couldn't say. "M-m-my b-b-b-brother...he's going to be...so mad at me." Her lips quivered.

His smile didn't dim. "Leave your brother to me. Who is he anyway?"

She started to smile back at him. "Gl-Gladdy. He's...one of your...trainers..."

His smile faltered slightly but he hung on to it. "And that would make you...?"

She bowed her head. "Iris."

He reached out and took her by the hand. "Well, let's just get back to the castle. You let me worry about your brother, kay?" He helped her to her feet.

She nodded, walked forward and hugged him.

And that was the first meeting of Iris Amicitia and Crown Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noctis' eyes fluttered open as the memory ended. The wind was blowing his hair around in the back seat of the Regalia. Beside him sat his possibly erstwhile friend Gladiolus, bigger brother of Iris and sworn shield of the Caelum line. In front sat Ignis and Prompto, his other loyal friends and travelling companions. The four of them were travelling to Lestallum, where Iris, Jared and Talcott awaited.

"You done napping the day away?" Gladiolus asked churlishly.

"Not much else to do in the back seat of a car on the road." He quipped back. "Where are we meeting Iris and the others when we get there?"

"The Leville. Just off the main market." Gladio replied perfunctorily. "You care more about my sister in that hotel than you do about the rest of us in this car?"

"You shouldn't be so critical of Noct, Gladio. He's earned a bit of rest aftter what he's been through." Ignis called from the front.

"Besides, he's gotta get enough beauty sleep to not completely embarass his bride-to-be in Altissia!" Prompto interjected 'helpfully.'

Gladiolus 'hhmph'd.' "Whatever. As long as your head's in the game when it's go time." He half muttered.

Noctis did not reply to his barbs. One of them had hit uncomfortably close to home. Deep down, he knew they were at least partly deserved. He'd never admit as much to Gladio but he couldn't exactly fault him for his outlook either. Or maybe he could and he just didn't have the energy for another argument with his sworn Shield. He wished he hadn't woken up from the memory at all.

As the silence settled in once more, he began to reflect on the events that had brought them here. Some part of him could still hardly believe it even though he was now living through the consequences, so unexpected they were.

The Niflheim Empire had sacked Insomnia, the Royal City, home of the Wall. They had attacked under pretense of a treaty to end the war between themselves and Lucis. And they had killed King Regis, Noctis' father, in the attack. Barely a week had passed since these events had occurred and while the Crown Prince had some idea of the task that lay ahead of him, his emotions were very much still troubled.

This was not helped much by his friends. They were equally as dismayed as their Prince but they were choosing not to show it or else showing it in ways that did nothing to help him deal with his own grief. Prompto, ever the jester, was trying to make light of the situation or ignore the darker parts entirely and make jokes and quips about lighter things. Ignis was presenting as the calm voice of rationality, neither advocating nor dissuading courses of action. He routinely sided with Noctis against Gladiolus, cautioning the latter against rash action and impulsive behaviours. For his part, Gladiolus was sullen, a barely concealed contempt simmering softly beneath his face. Contempt for the Empire, to be certain, but not only for them.

He sighed as softly as he could. Gladio was a handful but his heart was in the right place. Even if he hated his guts, he'd still defend him against all threats to his dying breath. That was the sign of a true and loyal sworn Shield. And even if Prompto's humour was doing nothing for his mood, he appreciated what his childhood friend was trying to do. Ignis...well, Ignis was practically the rock that held him upright these days. He didn't fault Noctis for his childish behaviour. He recognized that being thrust from Crown Prince into King so violently was quite a shock and an adjustment period was required. The pressures being placed upon his shoulders were titanic and expecting him to simply wake up and be the second coming of King Regis was doing a disservice to him. At the same time, Noctis knew that Ignis would become just as frustrated as Gladio if he, Noct, didn't shape up at all. Adjustment would not last forever.

In truth, he already knew that the time for being a child was over. He had to act like a King now, whatever that meant. He had been trained to rule a kingdom, not fight a war but it was his duty to rally his Kingsguard and fight off their foes. He knew this. He just didn't have any idea how he was going to accomplish it all. He couldn't quite admit it to his friends but at least he had come to terms with it internally.

In truth, the real reason he was still being immature was his other problem. The impending arranged marriage to Lunafreya Nox Fleuret. When they had left the Crown City he'd been upbeat, trading jabs with his father and acting as nonchalantly as possible, but it had all been an act. Something about this wedding was eating away at him. Something that he just couldn't name.

No, that was bullshit. He knew exactly what it was. Always had. At first it was something he had dismissed, thinking it would change as he grew. Years later it persisted, growing stronger with each passing year. He'd never admitted it openly to anyone. Not his father, not his friends, no one at all.

He didn't love her.

Well, that wasn't true. He certainly valued her as a friend. And she had been a friend for a long, long time. It wasn't that she wasn't beautiful. On the contrary, she had grown into a stunningly beautiful woman. It wasn't because they had nothing in common. If anything they had _too much_ in common. And it certainly wasn't because he was gay or something like that. He felt attraction to the female form and was not attracted in any way to the male form. No, he was definitely straight.

The simple truth that he could not admit to anyone else was that he did not love Lunafreya Nox Fleuret because he loved someone else. Someone he wasn't supposed to. Someone that practically everyone he knew or had known would tell him it was wrong to love. And he loved her all the same. He knew better than to claim that it was love at first sight. He'd liked her the first time he met her but they were both too young for love then. Some might say she was still too young for love now. To say nothing of loving someone who was supposed to marry another. And that was the reason he couldn't say what was really bothering him. He knew that either he, Gladio or the Regalia itself would not make it to Lestallum if he mentioned anything.

And so he sat, the wind blowing through his hair but his thoughts were moving even faster. What would he say to her? What would she say to him? Were there even words that were possible to say this forbidden thing? He didn't know. All he could do was let his mind run itself ragged in circles as the road between himself and Lestallum closed ever shorter.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Leville stood out vibrantly against the backdrop of Lestallum. Which was impressive considering the building was connected to other buildings on two sides. The flags by the front door flapped lightly in the breeze. The plants hanging from the planters in the windows gave it a nice splash of colour amongst the concrete jungle of its surroundings.

Noctis stared up at it from the street as his friends made their way toward the entrance. His head was almost spinning from the thought of how he was going to handle meeting her again. It wasn't that he wouldn't be able to control himself. He'd been trained to maintain composure in plenty of formal settings. He just didn't know how she was going to react to seeing him again. The thought of her fawning over him was making his head hurt. No, actually his head was hurting no matter what he was thinking. A sharp twinge of pain rocked his noggin as he tried to mount the small set of steps heading up into the hotel. He stumbled and almost fell, the pain causing his eyes to go blurry as another twinge cracked through his skull. He collapsed to one knee and his eyes began to see...something...monstrous and angry. He wasn't certain what it might be but he somehow got the impression that it was...calling...? To him...? A third twinge that was more like a slap directly to his brain sent him tumbling onto the steps and he blacked out for a moment.

Ignis was suddenly there, helping him up. "Noct! Noct!" He cried out in a panic. "Noct! What's wrong?!"

He slowly put his feet under himself but kept leaning on his longtime friend. "I...I don't know...." Was all he could muster in reply. "Some kind...of vision..."

Prompto's voice came from up ahead. "A vision? Of what?"

He shook his head. "I don't know, but I...I felt like...it was...calling me?" His confusion ended the sentence as a question.

"Wonder how long you'll ignore this calling." Gladio huffed disapprovingly.

Noctis opened his mouth to reply but Ignis beat him to it. "Gladio! This isn't helping! If you can't be supportive of the Crown Prince, for Regis' sake, just shut up!"

Gladiolus looked at Ignis like he'd stabbed him with one of his daggers. And it looked like he was going to take this opportunity to pick a fight with someone willing to shout back but someone else diverted attention.

"Noct! Are you OK?!" Came a worried feminine voice from the doorway. All of them turned to see Iris Amicitia standing in it looking very concerned.

He tried to smile but he could tell it was more of a grimace. "Never better..." He lied terribly.

She jogged out to meet him and looked deeply into his eyes. "Don't act tough. I'm a Crownsguard, not your wife." She frowned disappointingly.

He smiled despite her worry. "I know. I'm just a little embarrassed." And he was. It was taking all his willpower not to blush.

She smiled warmly in return. "Well, let's get you off the street before you melt!" She turned and gestured for them to follow her. She led them into the foyer, up the stairs and straight into a room. Noctis leaned on Ignis up the stairs before feeling good enough to stand on his own again on the landing. Once they were all safely inside the room, he collapsed into a chair.

Iris took a seat opposite him. "It's good to see you, Noct."

He nodded tiredly. "It's good to see you again too, Iris." His tone turned serious. "What happened back in Insomnia?"

His friends around the room all turned their attention onto their fellow Crownsguard as she sighed heavily. "The city was hammered fiercely, but only the core. The subrubs and surrounding areas were left relatively untouched."

"They were targeting military targets only, then." Ignis supplied.

She nodded to him. "The Citadel took a real beating especially." She turned to focus her gaze back on Noctis. "At least Lady Lunafreya made it out."

He had been staring into the space between them, processing the news, when his brain caught on to what she said and his eyes snapped to hers. "Wait! What?!"

She frowned. "You didn't know? Rumour has it she was in town on Oracle business but she managed to escape just before the Empire sprung its trap." Her eyes were searching his, for what he didn't know. "She's making her way to Altissia for the wedding."

Mention of the wedding caused him to frown for a moment before he realized they would expect that news to make him happy. He forced a smile. "That's...good to hear."

"You sound like you wished she'd died." Gladio quipped. "But knowing you, I bet that's more than just a wish."

That was it. Noctis stood up, strode over and slapped Gladiolus across the face. "How dare you!" He snarled.

Gladio just grinned at him. "Ah, so I finally found one of those frayed nerves of yours? Maybe now you'll actually _do something_ instead of moping about like a spoiled child."

His fists at his sides were shaking. "Get out. Right now. And don't be within my sight until the sun's come up tomorrow."

Gladio's grin turned into a sneer. "Oh? So now you want to give orders? Be a king? Why should I listen to a damned word you say, _my prince?_ "

Noctis' entire body was shaking now. His fingers were flexing as he contemplated just running this prick through. And he could see Gladio was thinking the same thing. He was sneering at him like 'just try it, pup.' And the more they stared at each other, the more he was thinking that he'd give the jerk just that.

However, before either could come to blows, Iris interceded once again. She stepped up beside Noctis. She was staring at her brother with a look of pure shock and betrayal on her face. "Gladiolus! How dare you disrespect our king like that?!" She pointed her finger to the door. "He just gave you an order! Get out or I'll throw you out!"

His sneer turned into a look of pure confusion. This wasn't part of his plan. "Iris? Why are you taking his side? And what do you mean throw me out?"

She wasn't backing down. Despite only coming up to her brother's chest, she stared up at him with an expression of pure disgust. "I mean just that! You dare accuse the king of wishing that his bride-to-be was dead?! What happened to your honour?! What made you throw it away so casually?!"

Noctis' stare turned to Iris as well. He was blown away with how dismissive she was being with her brother. He could also see Ignis and Prompto watching from across the room, mouths open as they watched Iris' fury.

Gladiolus was having a hard time rebuking her claims. "You haven't been around him. He's been acting like a complete brat for almost a week. His people need him to step up and be their king and he's moping around feeling sorry for himself!"

"And?! He just lost his father to a surprise attack! On top of that, he just heard that his city was devastated by that very attack! And you expect him to just grin and bear it?!" Iris was speaking at a normal volume but none could doubt the force of her words. "How long did it take you to get over our mother's death?!" Her eyes narrowed. "Because I recall someone being a total wreck for six weeks after she died, of natural causes no less!" 

Gladiolus did not respond. He couldn't. He could see her point but he wasn't ready to admit that to any of them, Noctis especially. He just huffed angrily, turned on his heel and made for the door.

Before he could put his hand on it, it opened into him. He jumped back to avoid being hit as Jared and Talcott appeared in the doorway. Looking at the atmosphere of the room they'd just intruded upon put Jared on edge. "Apologies, your highness. We heard heated conversation and thought something might be amiss." He looked to each of them in turn, lingering on Gladiolus a bit longer, almost as though he could somehow tell what had been occurring in the room prior to his arrival. Then he nodded to Noctis and said. "Please excuse us, it's clear you're in no danger." He went to close the door behind himself but Gladiolus walked forward and out of the room before he could. He turned to watch the man's retreating form with a confused expression for just a second before finishing closing the door and going back to his room.

Back in the room, Iris turned to Noctis with her head bowed. "I'm sorry, Prince Noctis. My brother is a hothead but that doesn't give him the right to say such things about your character."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine. His comments aren't entirely without merit. I've been struggling to come to terms with the idea that I not only have to be king now, but I have to be king when my kingdom is in shambles. Maybe I do need to grow up and get over it."

She shook her head vehemently. "No, that's not right. I mean, yes, you do have to be our king but it's only been one week since the attack. Expecting you to simply snap out of your grief and be King Regis after so short a time is doing a disservice to both him and you."

"She's right. You'll rise to the occasion. I have complete faith in you." Ignis agreed from one of the beds.

"Yeah, everyone needs time to process. You're no different from us on that front." Prompto added in a subdued tone.

He looked between the three of them, seeing their understanding expressions before suddenly yawning. "Man, I'm tired. From the drive, the arguing, the...everything." He turned back to Iris. "Hope you don't mind if I get some shut-eye. I feel worn down to the bone."

She shook her head again. "Of course not." She hugged him. "It's good to see you again, Noct."

He was too caught off guard by the show of affection to do anything other than just stand there in her arms.

After a few moments she pulled herself from him, waved to the others and left the room.

As he sat down heavily on one of the beds, Prompto dimmed the lights. He took his shoes off and collapsed backward onto the waiting pillows. As he did so, he noticed Ignis staring at him with a perplexed expression, like he was trying to put the pieces together of a particularly difficult puzzle. "What?" He asked.

He didn't reply. He simply turned and laid down on the bed next to his. Prompto opened the door into the hallway. "I'll see you guys in the morning." He offered a thumbs up by way of good night. Both of them acknowledged his departure so he shut the light off entirely and closed the door behind him.

Somewhat alone with his thoughts at last, Noctis allowed himself to sigh heavily. What the hell was Gladio's problem? He'd never been this critical of him before. Even mentioning that he thought his prince wished Luna dead, the man was so far out of line as to be on a different field altogether. Between Noctis' troubled heart and his complicated situation, he just didn't know how to even attempt to clear the air between himself and his sworn Shield. To say nothing of the fact that there was still one article of laundry that had yet to be aired and it promised to be the most contentious piece out of the entire sorry lot.

He turned onto his side and squeezed his eyes shut. Put all that away and rest. He willed himself to forget everything. Not for long, just until the morning. It was a technique taught to him (ironically?) by Gladio. How to get to sleep even in tense or difficult situations. He never thought he'd be employing it in a hotel room in a relatively crowded town. The thought should have made him laugh but it only made him grimace. The fact that he was relying on a technique taught to him by the person who was antagonizing him probably accounted for how long it took to finally work before he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
